@BadIuckBrian: Goes to church to find God's love. Friendzoned.
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@KenJennings: Thoughts and prayers to everyone in Hawaii who finally came clean w/ a spouse or partner thinking the missile was on its way.
@Rollinintheseat: I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious.
@samalmightysam: I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.
@kumailn: Batman based his superhero off what terrified him most. If I followed the same logic my superhero would be ListeningToVoicemailsMan.