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@BadIuckBrian: Goes to church to find God's love. Friendzoned.
@Thereeveryday: Spiders: Nature's reminder that you are, in fact, a little girl.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: I bet you say that to all the guys...
@cynicanoldicus: Go ahead, post and claim my tweets as your own. Maybe later, if you like, I'll come satisfy your woman and you can take credit for that too.
@DanRegans: People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
@warne888: When you're at someone's house? Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your wifi password?"