@ScottLinnen: Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me.
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@SteveKoehler22: Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples.
@robyn_vo: People who say their migraine is going to be the death of them are totally right because I just killed a lady right after she said that.
@MAngelo505: What I said : Just a trim, please. What hairdresser must've heard : Give me the Kim Jong-un.
@Awesome_Todd: Never run with scissors. Unless... • You stole them • You're running a 400 meter scissor relay • You're being chased by giant paper dolls