@ScottLinnen: Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me.
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@TheRealRHB: Paid $50 for a device that has a motion detector that emits a sound to scare off neighbor's cat....she's out there rubbing up against it now
@IGotsSmarts: I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first.
@Jacob_Swift16: Therapy Me: she never tells me anything Her: He doesn't listen Me: that's bs gimme an example Her: I'm 8 months pregnant Me: WHOA
@chrissyteigen: I am so lazy I thought about looking at the super moon and decided 2033 isn't even that far away