@cbdoubleu: [Going through rubble after a house fire]
Her [holding photo albums]: Totally ruined.
Me [holding slices of bread]: Pretty much toast.
![[Going through rubble after a house fire]
Her [holding photo albums]: Totally ruined.
Me [holding slices of bread]: Pretty much toast.](/cache/99846.jpg)
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@JediGigi: I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Police: where were you between 5 and 6? Me: Kindergarten
@squirrel74wkgn: People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown.
@SadHappyAmazing: Albert Einstein looking fabulous.
@CherBear162: Did you hear that? What? DID YOU HEAR THAT? NOT "WHAT?"..WHAT!? What? *axe murderer kills both*
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