@maebemarbles: Going to a baby shower and I'm real nervous, do they just kind of pour down on you? If you catch one do you have to keep it?
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@TheTimmyToes: I just want to be rich enough to say "that won't be necessary" when the police go to handcuff me
@MelvinofYork: I thought my wife was super pissed at me, but it turns out she was only “disappointed” in me. Thank God, I definitely dodged a bullet there
@AnOrangeSNES: [A field] *An elderly Louie Pasteur and I sit among the clover, I hold a shotgun* Me: It's time to put you out to pasture. *Cocks shotgun*