@djdarrellripley: Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy.
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@daemonic3: [graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear* [crowd cries] *dad walks in holding starbucks* "traffic, my bad"
@chris_witha_see: That moment of panic when you realize you haven't checked on your Farmville in like 6 years
@SteveKoehler22: The original "Ben Hur" was a mega hit movie ....with ( 11 ) Oscars. The remake is a box office flop. A clear case of "Ben Hur, Done That"
@thepunningman: Police: Cover me Rookie: ok [pulls out guitar] Every little thing she does is magic