@kyle_thatisall: Going to show my kids before and after pictures of Lindsay Lohan and say this girl didn't think she needed a nap either.
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@KalvinMacleod: Genie: 1st wish ME: I wish for a pen G: #2 M: another pen G: wtf M: I already lost the 1st pen G: and ur 3rd M: ur not going to believe this
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang
@KeetPotato: [on quiz show] "and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?" *leans way too close into the microphone* spend it alex