@kyle_thatisall: Going to show my kids before and after pictures of Lindsay Lohan and say this girl didn't think she needed a nap either.
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@Marilyn_Brando: [Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples.
@River_Niles: Today I found out my nephew is scared of the vacuum.. Today I also found out I have a very dark cruel evil side to me..
@SatansTongue: Where is your 1,000 word essay? "Right here" *pulls out selfie* That's a picture... "A picture is worth 1,000 words" *becomes valedictorian*
@GrantTanaka: When someone asks me how my day is, I like to say "Still kinda pissed about Hiroshima," & then start swearing in Japanese.