@TwoSapphiresBlu: Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd.
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@ericsshadow: My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat.
@shanethevein: The doctor asked if I was sexual active. I shook my head and said "Not in front of the wife".