@megchambe: going to the gym to throw donuts at all the skinny people
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@simoncholland: I tried to help by doing my daughter's hair once and a kind old lady offered her a hot meal and a warm place to sleep.
@KatieBurnett: Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald's pick up an appropriate amount of napkins - you're cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide
@XplodingUnicorn: I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say "no."