@shkeeber: Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography.
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@gwatts77: Judging by how all of these ladies tweet about cucumbers I'm pretty sure size does matter because I never see them tweeting about carrots :(
@TheDailySchmuck: [Eating unhealthy potato at restaurant] Cop: You're under arrest. Me: What's the charge? [Lowers sunglasses] Cop: a salt and buttery.