@shkeeber: Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography.
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@OctopusCaveman: Me: Remember when Rodney King got beat up and everyone had that weird party in LA? Jill: It was a riot. Me: It wasn't funny Jill.
@Robert_Beau: You know you're getting old when your decision to sleep with someone is mostly based on the quality of their mattress and pillows.
@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.