@bazecraze: Goldfish are the only pets with the decency to die just as the novelty wears off.
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@lisaxy424: Hot chick in glasses: *giggle* look at me I'm a nerd! Me in glasses: *giggle* look at me I have an astigmatism!
@pleatedjeans: I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem