@causticbob: goldfish mafia
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@existentialcoms: Ten things only 90s people remember: 1. 1990 2. 1991 3. 1992 4. 1993 5. 1994 6. 1995 7. 1996 8. 1997 9. 1998 10. That sound the modems made
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: You put the wrong date on this. Me: Oh, yeah. The year change always messes me up. Wife: You wrote 1992.
@phaggots: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty" OMG THIS IS SO ME
@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful