@hazelmotes1: Golf, except there's no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
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@DanMentos: just taught my 3yo to sing "if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands" and then laugh at the people clapping
@Mr_Kapowski: I didn't want the cop to see that my car's registration tags weren't current but apparently swerving erratically got his attention too
@Diversion50: [at interview] INTERVIEWER: Who inspires you? ME: Peter Piper. INTERVIEWER: What does he do? ME: It's difficult to say.