@TheCatWhisprer: Golf is probably fun if you like walking around outside in business casual.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [job interview] "So what would you say is your biggest weakness?" "I'm pretty bad at reading situations." *tries to kiss interviewer*
@KimmyMonte: *judge bangs gavel* Ok let's reconvene after a quick 20 min recess *immediately knocks over defense attorney to get to the slide first*
@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.
@Brampersandon_: BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah