@tiffanygraceful: Gonna buy an old beat up car for the sole purpose of rear ending the hell outta people I let over and don't get the thank you wave.
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@NYC_Blonde: Billion dollar idea: Tea bags that are actually wine bags. Slogan: You already act like you're God, now turn water into wine like Jesus!
@Darlainky: Dear Santa, Please send gift cards. Your taste has gotten significantly worse in recent years.
@iAmDelFreaky: Waking up with morning wood is one thing, but waking with Elijah Wood is just creepy. I calmed down once I stared into his beautiful eyes.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja.