Gonna buy an old beat up car for the sole purpose of rear ending the hell outta people I let over and don’t get the thank you wave.

@LosLos__: Me: I love you, too...umm... [Wife says her name] Me: See? After all these years we're still finishing each other's sentences.

1

@itswrigley: I'm 2/3 virgin.

5

@Darlainky: All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us! -if bras could talk

1

@BakedBrotatoes: Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready.

47

@Midgetspar: I'm thinking about giving that Call of Duty game a shot, but first I'm gonna try one last time to get past level 4 on Duck Hunt.

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