@lazerdoov: Gonna get "na na na na na na na na" tattooed on my forearm. I'll tell girls it's Hey Jude and I'll tell dudes it's the Batman theme.
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@AnnaKendrick47: My life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.
@shariv67: Tonight I'm going to be naughty and tie my man to the bed. Then I'll make him watch a Golden Girls marathon while I eat the left over pizza.
@DaddyJew: [spelling bee] Narrator: relax Contestant: ok Narrator: I'm sorry but that's incorrect C: what? N: our next contestant...
@jonnysun: sitting is bad for u, but the standing desk is all wrong. i present to u… *unveils computer hanging from ceiling with a bed underneath it*