@SCbchbum: Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell.
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@Sassafrantz: boss: I've been reviewing the security footage from last night and... me: OH SHIT! boss: OH SHIT IS RIGHT! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE ON POINT!
@IGotsSmarts: I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first.
@Kyle_Raney: Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now