@SCbchbum: Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell.
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@VintageKriner: "You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark." The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage.
@BGH70: I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me.
@JustinGuarini: You know you're tired when you kneel on the ground pick something up and then have to decide if it's easier to get up or just live there now