@SCbchbum: Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell.
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@NotthatAdamWest: When did intentionally misspelling words become a thing? Kewl? Gurl? You know what I dig? Literacy.
@sara_ashlynn: My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids.
@SirEviscerate: I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed.
@sarousti: She uses her boyfriends toothbrush without his knowledge and wears his underwear every day....I eat a dog biscuit ONCE and I'M the weirdo???