@SCbchbum: Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell.
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@lazerdoov: *wakes up in a cold sweat* Ohhhh OVERALLS because you wear them over all your other clothes
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Why were you speeding? Me: SHE'S IN LABOR! Cop: That's a beach ball in a wig. Me: Cop: Me: I don't think I'm the father. Cop: Get out.
@lisaxy424: Anyone: I'm cold Me: Get a sweatshirt or something I'm not your mother Dog: *shivers once* Me: I WILL USE MY BODY HEAT TO KEEP YOU ALIVE