@RandomAntics: gonna have me one of them sexy closed-casket funerals, leave somethin to the imagination
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@BberrySurprise: "I do not negotiate with terrorists!" said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children.
@UncleDuke1969: (Trump rally) Trump: I’ll take questions now. Reporter: How will you fix California’s drought? Trump: More water. Crowd: *cheers wildly*
@doublewenis: Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams.
@InternetHippo: "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to myself, in all other situations