@kevinseccia: Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip "Syrian Refugee 1 and 2" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.
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@ValeeGrrl: That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix.
@Contwixt: The day we decided such footwear would be called "flip-flops" was not our most creative moment.
@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it