@kevinseccia: Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip "Syrian Refugee 1 and 2" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.
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@GingerHotDish: I'm not saying the character Merida was modeled after me, but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married.
@dawny716: Damn girl, are you alcohol? Because I've had too much of you and I'm going to throw up.
@kimtopher22: My son has said Mom 327 times from his room this morning. He's 21 and home for the summer. It doesn't get better.
@TeaAndCopy: ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon