@OhNoSheTwitnt: Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word "bae" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever.
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@patrickhogan91: *Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* "Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"
@haleysfalling: [showing people around museum] and if u look to ur left you'll see a bunch of uppity people who get reaaal weird when you lick the paintings
@Darylch: Lots of hockey tweets, sadly I'm from Alabama where a bunch of white guys chasing something black with sticks has a whole different meaning.