@tigersgoroooar: gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine.
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@SortaBad: Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute
@ClichedOut: Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag.
@justabloodygame: *scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?
@BCMontgo: [concert venue] Manager: Start the fog machine! Me: *gulps* Fog? *hundreds of frogs start falling on crowd