@TheMichaelRock: Alright, I finally gave in and signed up for MySpace. Where is everyone?

@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.

@Fred_Delicious: *accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*

@LizHackett: I once saw a real bear in the wild and said "Aww, look at him!" What I'm saying is, don't turn to me for practical thinking in an emergency.

@Brampersandon_: WIFE: you've had enough ME (eating my 68th breadstick): aw man OLIVE GARDEN MANAGER: let him eat one more lol