@justaride: If you have time-stamped VHS footage of yourself blowing out birthday candles, you'll eventually be abducted.

@TheCatWhisprer: [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know

@sameblacklist: If Eve sacrificed the whole human race for an apple, have you ever wondered what she would have done for a cucumber?

@vanderheydensax: "Well, you only live once." - Guy, convincing himself to skydive "Well, you only live once." - Me, convincing myself not to skydive

@Ooft_Headshot: Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves.