@KKAlThani: "Good evening, I will be your waiter for tonight. What would you like to Instagram?" - how waiters should greet people
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: The projected sales figur- *phone buzzes* the proj- *buzzes again* *checks phone* Excuse me for a moment gentelmen I'm being owned online
@bea_ker: *amateur magician does tablecloth-pulling trick, knocking everything over* Cat in audience: Oh, this guy's good
@Rollinintheseat: *Comments on Facebook picture* "That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."