@calluptome: Good for you when one door closes & another door opens. For the rest of us that usually means we're in jail.
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@Ristolable: According to Facebook a bunch of handsome dudes got together and decided to marry all my ex-girlfriends
@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
@SuperRandomish: Fun prank: Just leave random "I'm sorry I hit your car" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent.