@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking
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@TheAlexP: Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read.
@theshamingofjay: I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
@VenisVal: Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!