@ErrenMichaels: Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF
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@PetrickSara: My husband grabbed a lightsaber and challenged our daughter to a battle. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.
@leechee420: The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."
@Pundamentalism: My girlfriend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.