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@thenatewolf: "Good luck with your little skits!"
18: This Hotel wants me to pay for Wi-Fi?!
Me: You do know someone pays for Wi-Fi at home too, right?
@TheIronSherk: My stages of drunk:
@ramenfuneral: me: one time i almost got trampled to death in a mosh pit
kid: did you die?
@KevinFarzad: Whenever u feel like ur not being productive, take a nap. You'll wake up groggy & angry & have forgotten abt the whole "productivity" thing
@ceejoyner: ENEMY: can you smell that? That's fear.
ME: the baked goods?
ENEMY: no. focus on your fear.
ME: we must be knife fighting behind a bakery