@chrissyteigen: good morning
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@TuSoonShakur: [At the Amnesty International Open Summit] "OK, let's put it to a vote, what rights should humans be entitled to?" Kim Jong-un: "No rights." Raúl Castro: "Some rights." Matthew McConaughey: "All rights, all rights, all rights."
@weinerdog4life: A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away
@AimeeHelene1: That moment when your ID badge doesn't work & you wonder: Did I get fired? Can I go back to bed now? Will my 401k sustain my food addiction?