@Jarhead44: Good morning to everyone except people that eat while leaving you a voicemail.
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@G_Faylor: [trying to check out girl at grocery store] cashier: please take her off the conveyor belt
@philEfanaddict: [1st Date] Her: I've had a hysterectomy Him: I've had a vasectomy Her: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Him: You gonna eat those fries?