@willmenaker: Good Morning.
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@5oulhealer: My 7yo gave up a simple joke thats good enough 2 laugh at. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Cause it was stuck on the chicken's foot!
@justabloodygame: [commercial for Facebook] *man sits in tree, watching friends from high school through binoculars* "Don't you wish there were a better way?"
@mortimermaiden: *signing sign in sheet* (to myself): This will be worth a lot once I'm famous. Hospital Nurse: Alright let's get that pea out of your ear.