@VanVeenB: Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they're making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
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@djdarrellripley: The twin sisters that live next door to me, shower is broke so they're using mine. So, you know what that means... More hair in my drain.
@camelSWAG69: [walks into gym with my sunglasses on] WHATS UP LADIES *takes off sunglasses* damn it 3rd treadmill I've hit on this week