@shariv67: Good news! That lump I found in my breast turned out to be a Skittle.
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@notacroc: TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family
@ieatanddrink: I like telling car salesmen "Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do
@jonesination: "The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.