@Cyd10e: Good News: You mean the world to me.
Bad News: The world is pretty lousy right now.
@BuckyIsotope: “I don’t have to run faster than the bear. I just have to run faster than you,” I say to my hiking companion. It is Usain Bolt. A bear waves
@markydoodoo: GF: that spoon is still dirty
ME: but I just got it out of the dishwasher
GF: I can see the mayo on it
ME: yeah but it's clean mayo now
@Dawn_M_: Nothing sexier than when a man pulls you close, looks deep into your eyes, and puts a Babybel in your mouth.
@Overdue_Bills: My daughter wrote "Daddy is the best" in the snow then smashed it when I made her come inside. She'll make some lucky guy miserable one day.
@TuffyNyC: Being popular on Facebook is like being the smartest kid in summer school.