@Cyd10e: Good News: You mean the world to me.
Bad News: The world is pretty lousy right now.
@SkinnerSteven: "I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped
@radtoria: amazing how folks can pinpoint the subtle floral undertones in a glass of wine while i'm like "yo, is there mustard on this grilled cheese?"
@jrza84: I guess knocking on random dressing room doors in a department store and asking "hey, can I see how you look?" is frowned upon.
@gorrdano: I'm always ready with my mallet when sewer workers poke their head up from under a manhole.
@DontTouchMyWine: As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.