@WheelTod: "Good parenting isn't giving your kid everything she needs, but giving her the tools to get it for herself" I say, handing my 6yo a crossbow
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@LindaInDisguise: I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying "I gave you one yesterday."
@smilely_gal: 7: "Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?" Me: "Are you the someone?" 7: "Maybe" Holy hell.
@Breadery: *Sat talking to a girl at a bar* Brain: Compliment her perfume, nicely. Me: I AM SMELLING YOU Brain: Why do you hate me?