@WheelTod: "Good parenting isn't giving your kid everything she needs, but giving her the tools to get it for herself" I say, handing my 6yo a crossbow
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@moiragallaga: The fact that people use the wrong "your," "there," "it's" and "its" yet spell "Bieber" correctly just kills me.
@hippieswordfish: *guy collapses* ICE CREAM MAN: does anyone know CPR DOCTOR:*looks at ice cream cones in both his hands, looks up, then slowly walks away*
@alwayzintruble: Just put 3 sugar cubes in my tea, and by sugar, I mean xanax, because sugar is really bad for you..