@Parentpains: Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn't have known they had a torso.
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@hunz74: A scientist said that fish will evolve into "flish" & will be able to fly. Now I can't stop thinking about "flarks, flhales & flea horses."
@jwoodham: BREAKING: Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys killed instantly by lack of oxygen.
@CountGripsnatch: *maintains eye contact with coworker while licking a yogurt lid for seventeen minutes*
@TheRolo: *UFO attacks* Govt: It's a weather balloon. *UFO destroys Eiffel Tower* Govt: Weather balloon. *UFO conquers Earth* Govt: Weather balloon.