@SoulYodeler: Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight space cow preventing other cows from clearing the moon. Goodnight ketamine.
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@1_swarthy_dude: [interview for waiter position] Manager: "So how experienced are you at carrying multiple plates?" Stegosaurus: "You're kidding me right?"
@ArfMeasures: Morgan Freeman: Get busy living or get busy dying Me: Hell yeah! [After spending a week with me] Morgan Freeman: Which....which one are you doing?