@briangaar: Goodnight moon. Goodnight stars. Goodnight 4,000-year-old Earth. Goodnight dinosaur fossils that were put here to test our faith.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@butterwolf: I've noticed you keep tiny pictures of family members in your wallet. Nice, I didn't know you played. I'm looking to trade my Nana card.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: A watched pot never boils. Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Try turning on the stove, idiot.
@_Tempo11: My family's invaded my house for the weekend. As a side note my dog's been walked 18 times
@BrandonVine: I bet when Kanye was little he played tag by himself, then argued with himself on whether he was tagged or not.