@ibid78: "Goodnight moon."
*Moon takes out one earbud*
"No, Pepsi is not ok."
@mattZillaaaa: I work with some really great people. They're reliable, they're honest and they never cause any problems. I don't fit in at all.
@BuckyIsotope: "I'm in international waters, your damn laws can't touch me" I scream to the police as I dog paddle naked in my neighbors swimming pool.
@WheelTod: The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear.
@MrPhetz: A TV weatherman who keeps accidentally calling the anchorwoman mom
@ddsmidt: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.