@ibid78: "Goodnight moon."
*Moon takes out one earbud*
"No, Pepsi is not ok."
@MrEmilyHeller: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.
@amydillon: Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.
@sixfootcandy: Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
@ShortWhiteNUgly: An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.
@Gre_Gone: Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You're Not Guilty?
Me: *moonwalks outta there*