@lawblob: Goodnight Moon, you albino m&m looking space-pebble garbage piece of shit
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@HuffPostComedy: Louis C.K. perfectly sums up Boston accents in his new special 'Live At The Comedy Store'
@JRobb773: There's nothing you can't achieve with a positive attitude and a cursed doll possessed by a vengeful spirit.
@causticbob: I was thrilled when this beautiful girl came up and asked me for a date. Then I realised it was just because I work at a dried fruit stand.