@Dr_Dweezil: google glass is going to revolutionize the way america walks into oncoming traffic
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@SacamanoB: Whenever I wake up in a bad mood I always wear a shirt I don't like just in case I turn into The Hulk.
@huntigula: [Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] "YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"
@OutOfLeftField_: Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He's not ill, just really crap in bed.
@jonnysun: ALADDIN: i can show you the world JASMINE: wat why. do u kno that there are people out there. why do u think we live ina palace. no thank u