@llvvzz: Google+ is starting to sound like a half-way house for people that aren't phony enough for Facebook but aren't edgy enough for Twitter.
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@BlindChow: (Ok don't let her know ur Jesus) Girl: Meet my dad *they shake hands* *Dad stands up from wheelchair* Dad: It's a miracle! Jesus: *facepalm*
@ArfMeasures: ME [trying to convince her I care] I'm so angry the big bed cushions haven't arrived WIFE: Throw pillows M: I'm that angry Karen, I might do
@YoungNobler: Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien.