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@SortaBad: Google isn't much help if you can't think of the word 'zebra'
@CauseWereGuys: Siri is the only girl that answers my questions without having to ask why..
@realHamOnWry: According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.
@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
@QwertyJones3: "That sucked."
-Elephants who just saw The Peanuts Movie
@caseytduncan: Genie: You have 3 wishes.
I don't want to run into spiderwebs anymore. That's it.... I'm done. You can keep the other 2 wishes.