@SortaBad: Google isn't much help if you can't think of the word 'zebra'
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@HairyJew4Life: Her: Did you hear that eating curry can get rid of bad memories? Me: So I should take you out for Indian AFTER we have sex?
@BubblesnBooze: It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot. -everyone on Twitter
@joe_binkley: Things that are loud: Jet engines Dynamite Opening a bag of Sun Chips at a funeral Rock concerts
@eeethanford: But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce.