@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
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@amazymay72x: no, dont go there dont touch that no, leave it alone keep your hands off! a typical morning with my 3yo (or pissed off with my husband)
@NicestHippo: TRUMP: I just killed & ate a homeless man MEDIA: You're a monster TRUMP: This sort of political correctness is what's ruining our country
@TheToddWilliams: [candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition.
@mejustbeth: Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question.