@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
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@karlainvt: It's so cute how my kids think I'm going to go look for them after I finish counting to ten.
@Parker_Simpson: I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
@samfromks: *Holds centipede up to your cheek as you're sleeping and whispers* Hey baby, the restraining order said a hundred feet...