@i_wasnt_looking: Google needs a "you really don't want to know" search answer.
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@stormy_hero: [at wedding] "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Couple kisses *yelling from the back row "AWKWAAAARD"
@SketchesbyBoze: the three stages of a woman's life: - the chosen one - the mother - solving crimes in the village
@UNTRESOR: Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire