@librarianfonz: Google won't replace librarians. The internet is like giving someone a fire hose when all they asked for was a glass of water.
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@BatBatshitcrazy: I've got 19 yo boys lining up to mow my lawn. Cougar game strong? Nah, I just make a mean lasagna.
@TheAlexNevil: Boss: What are you doing here on a Saturday?? Me (eating leftovers from fridge): ...reports.
@TragicAllyHere: Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job.