@JermHimselfish: Googled woodworking. Broke my coffee table down and built a birdhouse. Desk is now a birdhouse too. Pretty much everything's a birdhouse now
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@david8hughes: [police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a light grey Me: ... My dog: if that helps
@KKAlThani: 1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone "It's done. He's dead." 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can
@AndrewChamings: In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta.