@BillPelicanBros: Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: *gets called a psychopath *googles "What's the average IQ of a psychopath?" AWWW, HE THINKS I'M REALLY SMART.
@FilthyRichmond: I got tired of our restroom smelling like other people's crap so I placed a chunk of mine behind the hot air vent.
@macchiatonumb: *Me getting pulled over* Me:license and registration please? Guy police officer :I pulled u over.. Me:do u really want to argue with me?
@jonnysun: CANADIAN: im a canadian DATE: cool i've never met a comedian befor CANADIAN: [is too polite to corect them, dedicates entire life to comedy]