@BillPelicanBros: Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians.
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@daemonic3: Tried to make jokes on this plane about the other passengers' carryon bags, but they went over their heads
@taylortomlinson: I like horror movies because it's the only place insanely hot people are treated poorly
@NicestHippo: "It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside" ME: Oh thank god "It's who you are on the inside" ME: Dang