@BillPelicanBros: Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians.
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@cravin4: When you just stick the tip in and then move it around and around. - Hand held pencil sharpener
@AaronFullerton: Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called "Societal Obligation."
@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.
@3sunzzz: If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup.