@BillPelicanBros: Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians.
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@Sickayduh: "The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-" "Juror is dismissed"
@TheWadest: Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.
@Dawn_M_: He said I reminded him of the girl from The Ring. We laughed and laughed, and then I put an axe in his back and ate his soul.