@Mr_Kapowski: Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked. So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head.
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@flashember: ME: Where are the posters? WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! [In other room] *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*
@slackerjorge: In store checkout behind beautiful woman in sleek black dress. She's buying tequila and a quart of motor oil. Sure like to know that story