@jwoodham: Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders.

@DevilryFun: I'm an introvert, but my middle finger is an extrovert.

@tigersgoroooar: The first rule of kite club is you do not talk about Benjamin Franklin.

@just1fool: I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet.

@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out