@Underchilde: Got a cease and desist letter that says I can’t wear my hard hat around town until I learn how to wolf whistle.
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@koalaslament: put ur hair in a man-bun. now put ur beard in a man-bun too. congratulations ur now a hamburger. be free, hamburger man.
@badbanana: URGENT! IF MY BOSS ASKS YOU IF IT'S REALLY "NATIONAL THROW YOUR COFFEE AT YOUR BOSS DAY" PLEASE SAY YES.
@andreeahluscu: I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been "whoa there chap"