@myonlymizztake: Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons.
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@TheCiscoKidder: Watching my kid pick his nose is disgusting. He wipes the boogers on his shirt instead of the closest cat like a normal person.
@foodfacenow: Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe* Her: OMG, can this date get any better Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can
@TheBeerGuy73: I consider it a personal victory everytime that I don't ask a person wearing a leg cast if they've broken their leg.
@iliezabeth: CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?