@LeahTiscione: Got a tattoo of my mom telling me not to get a tattoo
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@GensPlace: We took the animals for a walk and saw a sign: 'Dogging area, please control your animal and pick up their faces...'
@oakhillbargrill: Spreads legs... Nope Spreads two other legs .... Nope Spreads two others .... Dammit, no Spreads last two.... BINGO!! - spider sex
@LuvPug: A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller
@WheelTod: Did you know statistically you're more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a breadknife